As a video producer and interviewee in the Snippies Online Dating Horror Stories, I can tell you that there was much more to my story than what made final cut. So, here are the full gory details of one of my more noteworthy New York City dating escapades.
At the peak of my online dating career I would try almost any app or service that existed, from the traditional Match.com to the questionable algorithms of Coffee Meets Bagel. Like many New Yorkers, Tinder was one of the apps that (shamefully) worked its way into regular use on my phone. While I was willing to believe that it would be possible for me to find someone, I never wasted a single second considering Tinder would present me with the potential next rung on the ladder of career advancement.
What started as a seemingly innocent night of swiping while dog sitting took an interesting turn when I matched up with “Jane.” She was short with an affinity for avocados and incisive wit. We met up at a bar in Brooklyn known for its extensive craft beer list and a propensity for dim lighting. Throughout the course of the date, conversation settled on our current employment situations where we subsequently found out that our occupations and skill sets were very similar.
Upon saying our goodbyes, after we had hounded the nearby closing McDonalds into giving us their leftovers, the usual parting message of “I had fun”/”I’d like to see you again”/”Thanks, but no thanks” was replaced instead with a comment I didn’t expect.
“Want to come back to my place?” Nope, wasn’t that.
It was, “If you want, I could probably get you an interview at my company.” I guess sometimes it is okay to mix business and pleasure? Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I passed along my resume to her the next day, which she passed to her supervisor, who subsequently emailed me to say he had heard good things and was inviting me for an interview.
I showed up to the interview prepared mentally and wardrobedly to impress. What I wasn’t entirely prepared for, was the imminent question of what led me here:
“So, how did you meet Jane?”
Having decided that “On Tinder” would convey neither the most professional nor eloquent first impression, my mind raced to come up with the perfect nebulous story until I eventually settled on the diplomatic, “eh, just through life.” I elaborated, claiming that we were both at the same bar on the same night and just started talking.
Shortly after, I reached out to Jane asking to see her again. “You’d have to be crazy if you want to see me again,” she said.
“Then sign me up for the electroshock therapy,” I responded, thinking she was being playful.
She was not.
I never heard from her or her company again.
Written By: Jim Rohner, Snippies Producer